Sledgehammer Runs For The Senate Part Nine: We Got To Harrier This Story Along

Sledgehammer

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Jul 6, 2022
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[SIZE=11pt]The door swung open, and there stood Crimace, dressed in his normal armor, but with a bright red shirt with Sledgehammer on it, giving a thumbs up with a speech bubble, saying. “I WILL BUILD THE BRIDGE PLANET!”. On the other side of a door, was a civilian of the planet Vardos, he looked at Crimace a bit confused. “Hi there sir, are you aware of Corporal Sledgehammer's campaign for the Senate.” Crimace said, with a forced sound of joy. He was dying inside, and also outside, he was dying everywhere and he wished nothing but the sweet relief of death upon his soul. He did not know what he had done in this life…well except that genocide but that doesn’t count. He seriously did not know what he had done to deserve this. The man on the other side, looked at him, blinked and raised an eyebrow. “Well Sir, Corporal Sledgehammer, is gonna bring true representation to this sector.” Said Crimace, once again forcing joy from his quivering lips, as he shot out his hand to hand the man a brochure. “Just remember civilians, a vote for Sledgehammer is a vote for Sledgocity.” The civilian looked at Crimace and was about to question what Sledgocity was, before Crimace sparing himself any further torture, jolted his hand into the mans apartment grabbed ahold of the door and slammed it in his own face.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Crimace looked at his hands then, which were covered in Sledgehammer branded gloves, and began weeping in his helmet as he collapsed on the floor. Despair filled him to the brim, resentment swelled in his heart which through palpitation produced feelings of shame that would haunt him until his grave. Oh how the mighty had fallen, the once proud Arc Trooper, now was but a campaign spokesperson, going door to door, talking about the totally awesome things that BRIDGE PLANET would totally, completely bring to the galaxy. Everytime someone agreed with him unironically it hurt his brain, he was just making things up…WHY ARE PEOPLE AGREEING WITH THIS PLAN. Was all he could think as he wept, ready to throw his helmet to the ground, and scream out to the heavens and to the hells. Why…WHY HAD THEY DONE THIS TO HIM. But before this very, very dramatic occurrence could happen, Crimace received a comms call. He sighed, he had resigned himself to this fate as he answered it. “Your calling the office of Corporal Sledgehammer, where Sledgocity is our motto, if you have a question about his campaign promises you can ask me.” Crimace said, forcing all his will into those fake and disgusting words. “Crimace…its me, you can knock it off with the fake happiness.” Dess said on the other side. “Oh my fuck.” said Crimace exapserated, and relieved to hear the other only sane man in the galaxy on the other end. “Hi Dess…how is the campaign on your side going.” asked Crimace, as he got up, and began walking out of the apartment building, having gotten to the last apartment. “Well…I got abunch of old grandma Trandoshians to support Sledgehammers plan for a mass distribution of pictures of Hours, to boost morale…that was a weird campaign promise…and I don’t understand why he made that, but…the grandmas seem to like it so…” he said, with a feeling of total and utter exasperation. “So they're probably gonna be voting for him tonight.” said Dess, who Crimace knew was walking around in a giant inflatable Sledgehammer mascot costume, and truthfully Crimace didn’t know who got it worse. “Alright…welp, that should be the last of the campaigning we have to do this week, we just got to wait for the vote to come in.” Said Crimace, as he walked out of the Vardosian apartment building and with a sigh of relief, that he could finally take this damn shirt off, and that nobody from the base ever saw him with i……is that riff?. Crimace thought to himself as he laid eyes upon his fellow Red Arc Trooper, who stared at Crimace. It was a long pregnant second, which gave birth to an even more painful second, as Riff started to slowly gasp, and then start dying of laughter.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Crimace, then knew at that second he had it worst, as Riff fell to the floor, tears pouring down his face. Crimace…felt nothing, the shame, had gotten so high, that he didn’t even feel anything from it, as he stormed off. Bitter, enraged, hate filled, depressed, sad, lonely, mad and every other emotion that was not happiness filling his body, as he went back to base, to wait for the election results.[/SIZE]

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[SIZE=11pt]Sledgehammer sat in his campaign office, all his proposals already written up, ready to be sent to the Senate legislature. The votes were currently being counted, and he knew he would be called onto stage, when they were all counted, where he would stare his opponent down, and where the final victor would be declared. His office, was a large wooden shack, covered in nonsensical proposals with bad spelling and grammar and logic and everything else, it had a bunch of toys, and merchandise, produce in Talz sweatshops, which Sledge did bring some ethics concerns about, but Crimace swore this was the only way the merchandise could be produced fast enough. Sledgehammer was admittingly a bit panicked, he had spent his entire savings, which he didn’t even know he had until starting this campaign, when Dess had to explain to him what a bank…a credit card…a debit card…a savings account, and basically everything else was. He then heard the door open, and walked in was Crimace and Dess. Dess looked at Sledgehammer. “Thirty more minutes, until all the votes are tallied.” said Dess, as he pulled off the inflatable Sledgehammer Costume. Crimace walked in and sighed, and began to take off his sledgehammer merchandise.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Sledgehammer looked at both of them, all the memories he had with both. The fact this might be his last time seeing them, all the times he had with them, all the times he had to save Dess, all the fun moments with Crimace, seeing him go from 2nd Lt, to 1st Lt, to Captain…All the people he rescued. It filled his heart with melancholy, that he could not hold in. So he got up, he walked over first to Dess, and gave him a big warm hug. “Thank you Dess, for teaching me all that stuff…like gravity and banks.” he said with a big smile under his helmet, before he let go and gave him a salute. Dess was a bit stun, and just could mutter a confused thank you. Sledgehammer then looked at Crimace, the memories, the emotions, the fun times and there first meeting went through his head, he extended out his arms, and harder then he hugged Dess. Sledgehammer leaped at Crimace, and wrapped his arms around him, giving him a big tight hug. “Captain…you’ve been the best Commander a clone could ask for.” he said, a big smile under his helmet, as Crimace was at a lost of words, and could feel the bitterness and hatred melt away. “Thank you Sledgehammer…Thank You…” said Crimace, as Sledge let go and gave him a salute. “If this is the last time I see you two…you’ve been the best friends a guy could ask for.” he said.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Dess almost began crying, and Crimace could feel his heart stir. Then from behind them two other voices spoke up. “Hey what about us.” said Jurris who was currently taking pictures of hours, dunking himself with a full bucket of marmalade. “Yeah, what the heck Sledgehammer.” said hours, as Crimace promptly shouted back. “YOU TWO FINISH UP THE PHOTO SHOOT, THOSE TRANDOSHIAN GRANDMAS WILL WANT THAT PROMISE KEPT.” he said, as Sledgehammer sighed. “I may soon live with the Senate…but the 833rd will always be my true home.” he said, as he then beckoned for the entire 833rd and Dess for a group embrace, which Crimace very much was not comfortable with, especially when Hours started to get marmalade on him[/SIZE]

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[SIZE=11pt]Sledgehammer now stood on stage, next to him stood a funky looking individual, which no one could recognize as a Commando Droid, except Dess and Crimace, who could see through the full garb it covered itself with, head to toe, also next to him stood an old man in a green suit with a white beard and a full head of white hair, simply labeled Mayor. They stood on three podiums, and in front of them was a twi'lek to announce the results. Her blood voluptuous body stood at odds with the crowd, as her dress swayed in the breeze of Vardos. “Alright everyone settle down, settle down.” she said, as the crowd was not really making any noises. Camera honed in on her, this was being broadcasted to the entire galaxy. “First off…in last place, was Mayor, with a thousand votes.” Morgrim could be seen applauding in the far back. Crimace and Dess now stood at attention, who was gonna be second place. Sledgehammer was sweating, he had no idea if he was gonna win or not. “In second place, with one billion three hundred million two hundred thousand and seven votes… Caman’doe Der’roid.” Sledgehammer cheered, as Crimace and Dess doubled over in both relief and terror, the crowd went wild, and  Caman’doe Der’roid looked a little shock. “With…holy shit.” she said. “One Hundred Billion, Five hundred million, two hundred thousand and four votes…Corporal Sledgehammer.” relief filled Dess body, but also…horror, that many people had voted for Sledgehammer…and were convinced by Bridge Planet. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Sledgehammer ran up to the Podium. “PEOPLE OF THE SECTOR WE CURRENTLY LIVE IN, AS YOUR NEW SENATOR I WILL!” Suddenly screams could be heard and Sledgehammer felt something be put to the back of his helmet. He slowly turned around, and saw that  Caman’doe Der’roid, dropped his disguise…AND HE WAS A COMMANDO DROID, Sledgehammer let out a loud gasp, and Dess just face palmed into the wall. “Meatbags…you had your opportunity…now you will face the wrath of Separatist might.” Suddenly over head, six Munificients dropped from hyper space and began reigning down pods, as a special Separatist ship, also dropped out, attached to it was a large missile. “PODS.” Shouted Crimace, as they landed, the 833rd moved into action, beginning to get the civilians behind them, as legions of b1s and b2s, began exiting from it.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]“Caman’doe Der’roid I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU…HOW COULD YOU TURN YOURSELF INTO A COMMANDO DROID.” shouted Sledgehammer. The Commando Droid just froze, it was so perplexed on how clone thought he turned himself into a droid, that he didn’t realize sledgehammer aim for his gun, pull it out and fire at him. The commando droid had no time to respond as he was turned into molten slag. “I don’t know what alchemy you did to make yourself into a droid…but your betrayal to the Republic will be forever remembered.” As sledgehammer jumped into battle, ready to dish out death upon the Separatist. He jump packed over to Geek, who was punching B1s left and right completely demolishing them. “Hi Gee-” he was cut off as Geek responded. “I wasn’t paid enough for a full line in this story, go bother someone else bozo.” said Geek, as he pulled out a minigun from nowhere and began gunning down B1s. Sledgehammer stared in horror, and slowly jump packed away. Joining his fellow 833rd brothers, in battle. Little did they realize, that the Commando Droid was still alive, he spoke slowly over Separatist communications…”deploy the K42 Beta Primaris Torpedo.” it said with its final dying words. Above the men of the Burst Link, they saw the Torpedo fire, flames shooting out.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Crimace shouted. “Shit.” as he stomped in a B2s head, he looked towards Dess. “Is that…the torpedo thing you were talking about.” “Yep.” said Dess. “How Long until Impact.” said Crimace. “About One minute.” Said Dess nervous. “How do we disable it.” said Crimace. “Under its left plate, is a set of wires that would completely disable the Torpedo, but no way we could get up there, or if someone could they would almost surely di-” Hacht who was standing behind them, shot a full barrel into a B2 droid, and was about ready to jetpack into the next set of them, before he felt around for his jump pack on his back, and felt it no there, he turned around and saw Sledgehammer running away with it, throwing down his jump pack. “YOU CAN HAVE THAT HACHT.” Hachts eyes burst with rage, as he dropped his gun and pulled out his fist. “SLEEEEEDDDDDDGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!’ Shouted Hacht as he ran forward. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Sledgehammer ran up, and took up with Hachts Jetpack, Crimace saw him leep. “Sledge what the hell are you doing!” Sledgehammer shouted back, “I am taking out the missile.” he said, as the Jetpack carried him further and further into the air. “HOW YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE A KNI-” Crimace felt around for his knife, and realized it was gone. “SLEDGEHAMMER YOUR GONNA DIE.” Shouted Crimace, as Sledgehammer shouted back. “CAPTAIN I WAS MADE FOR THIS!” He shouted, as he finally reached the missile all fuel gone, he reached for the Knife and jammed it into the back panel, opening it. He had twenty seconds until impact, as his knife went down, 15 seconds. The Knife went into the wires, 12 seconds. And slice, 10 seconds. The missile stopped, and began to fall, with Sledge letting go. This was it, he thought. This was his final moments. He was never gonna be senator. He would never see hours covered in Marmalade again, he will never see his Captain again. He sighed and resigned himself to his fate. He would die though protecting civilians. He then spotted something, the inflatable Crimace from the fare, he aimed for it, as he plummeted to the ground, and crashed.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Crimace stared as Sledgehammer crashed into the inflatable version of himself. He heard behind him the missile harmlessly crash on the ground crushing pods. He then saw overhead the main Republic defense fleet of Vardos engage the Separatist fleet, and began to rip it to pieces, as the Munis began to enter Hyperspace. The Burst link cheered for there victory. But Crimace felt defeated. That Sledgehammer died...tears began to drip down his face. Until jumping out of the deflated Crimace bouncy house, was Sledgehammer shouting. “AND THATS HOW YOU DO IT, WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!” which immediately made Crimaces ears feel pain, but he was happy, as the crowds ran over to Sledgehammer picking him up, he and Dess did as well. Grabbing ahold of him and lifting him in the air. “THREE CHEERS FOR SENATOR SLEDGEHAMMER, HIP HIP HOOR-” they shouted as launched Sledgehammer into the air, with an Angry Hacht in the background shouting “Sleeeeeeeedgeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcaPiiFZu2o[/SIZE]

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[SIZE=11pt]Sledgehammer staring at the holonews, talking about why he was disqualified. “Do to Corporal Sledgehammers various misdemeanors and various felonies, he was disqualified from the Senate election, we had an interview with Arc Trooper Kentuckey on what he did to him.” [/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Kentuckey appeared on the Holo News. “So this…psychopath, straight up shoves baked beans into my life support system, I COULD OF DIED!!!” the news reported resume her broadcast. “Truly…a menace to society…well with his disqualification, Mayor…that’s literally his first name, has been elected Senator.” the Reporter continued. “In further news, the King Of Dac, defending his good friend Ken, has declared personal war upon Sledgeham-” Sledgehammer turned off the holo news with a sigh, and Crimace gave him a pat on the shoulder, with Dess standing at the front door, blocking a still furious Hacht from getting into the room, as he was banging against the door. “We don’t always win all the time Sledge.” said crimace patting him on the shoulder. Sledgehammer sighed and stood up. “Don’t worry Crimace…I have a new plan, I am gonna save my love, KILLIAN!!!” Crimace heart dropped into his stomach, and he just groaned, as Dess shouted. “NOT ANOTHER SLEDGEHAMMER ADVENTURE!!!” As Sledge stood proudly fist on hips in a heroics pose, before Hacht bursted down the door, fist raised as he shouted. “SLEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcaPiiFZu2o[/SIZE]

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[SIZE=11pt]Dirtnap yawned, slowly leaving his 212th bunk. He had gotten there last night, and slowly walked through the doors, to the debrief area. He needed to check to see how Ken and Bulwark were doing, and hoping they were alr-. Dirtnap saw before him a colossal battle, and Sledgehammer jumping up to a missile that was heading right towards them, as Geek was pulling out miniguns, bazookas and various other weapons to gun down the droids. Dirtnap sighed, slowly turned around and walked back inside.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcaPiiFZu2o[/SIZE]

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[SIZE=11pt]We are in the office of Captain Geek, we slowly zoom in on his face, he is writing something, we don’t know what, on a holopad. Geeks helmet then shoots up and he locks eyes with the reader. “That’s it, that’s the end of the story, why do you keep reading Bozo!”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Fade to black[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcaPiiFZu2o[/SIZE]

[SIZE=48pt]SLEDGEHAMMER WILL RETURN IN[/SIZE]

[SIZE=48pt]BLN THE MUSICAL[/SIZE]

[SIZE=48pt]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVq4zJ1WbaQ[/SIZE]